A black cloud

The events of the last week are weighing heavily on me. I see many of the other students in my journalism classes who are bursting at the seams with talent and I feel despair creep over me. I follow the photojournalism blogs of fellow classmates and salvate with envy over the quality of their photography. I let it convince me that they will oust me in the shrinking world of journalism.

I don't even want to be a photojournalist.

Yet when I see their photos all glossy and sharp it makes me feel that my writing is dim in comparison. I feel as if I am watching the 1 dream of my life unravel before me.

But I wonder if I am pulling the threads myself?

I lost a notebook this week which held all of my notes for multiple classes this semester. I feel completly lost without it. I worry how I will study for upcoming quizzes and exams, how I will write essays. It was one of the many happenings this week that have sent me into a spiral of self doubt and depression.

Like many people, I am wishing a door would open somewhere and allow me to escape. I am ashamed to admit that I have also been silently spitting envy and poision at those around me blessed with great opportunities, wishing they were mine.