It appears I've been at this for two weeks now. Two whole weeks and I haven't quit! I had friends in high school who couldn't stay in a relationship this long so I feel deserving of a small round of golf claps.
Today was celebrated with 4 small earthquakes here in the beautiful state of CA all happening in a 2 and a half hour period this evening. Definitely made my work day a bit more exciting.
That wasn't what I originally logged into blogger to blog about but I can't seem to recall why I did log in....
We'll come back to this shall we?
The past few weeks have had me in a bit of a funk, to be honest. There are quite a few big decisions looming above my head waiting to be made. There were until the other day (Tuesday to be exact) joined by a large cloud of self doubt. It's very difficult sometimes for me to look around at the 19 year old kid on Oprah who just published their 2nd novel, or the 22 year old publishing assistant living it up in NYC, and not question myself or my writing ability. When you want something so bad it is inevitable that at one time (or multiple times) you doubt yourself. I was in a serious pity puddle, wallowing about. "I'm no good at writing! No magazine would ever publish me! How can a no talent like me get an internship? Everything I write belongs in the trash!" I have a very hard time not editing while I write, and try as I might during these bouts of self doubt I erase more than I write. And so it was perfect timing that on Tuesday I went in for a conference with my creative writing professor. I kid you not, I had been sweating this conference for two weeks that's how nervous I was. She said she was enjoying my work and thought I had excellent voice and style and definitely "have more than a chance" of getting work or getting published.
Oh god this is starting to sound a bit egotistical isn't it? My point is simply that I am out of my cloud of doom and have become much more productive so I shall stop now before I begin sounding pretentious.
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2 comments:
Oh mY Word Vomit - not only do I love your name, but in many ways, we are very much the same.
I assume we are also poets who don't know it?
I've actually been reading your blog for a few weeks now (lurker status I know sorry!) and I can agree that we are very much alike although I doubt I could be any sort of poet!
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